Think about What you are Thinking about
First, let us consider OUR SELF-TALK! ” I am too Fat, Skinny, Old, I don’t have what it takes!” Deep down inside many Women have negative point of views and self loathing is common! Studies have shown this negative behavior starts as early as five years old!
The term Low-Self Esteem is when a person feels unworthy, incapable, and incompetent. In fact, because the person with low self–esteem feels so poorly about him or herself, these feelings may actually cause the person’s continued low self–esteem. Low self–esteem affects our overall mental health.
Characteristics of Low Self Esteem
- Social withdrawal
- Anxiety and emotional turmoil
- Lack of social skills| self confidence. Depression and sadness.
- Less social conformity
- Eating disorders
- Inability to accept compliments
- An Inability to see yourself ‘squarely’ – to be fair to yourself
- Accentuating the negative
- Exaggerated concern over what you imagine other people think
- Self neglect
- Treating yourself badly but NOT other people
- Worrying whether you have treated others badly
- Reluctance to take on challenges
- Reluctance to put yourself first or anywhere.
- Reluctance to trust your own opinion
- Expecting little out of life for yourself.
What is likely to cause very low self esteem?
Child Abuse Increases the Likelihood of Low Self Esteem
People who were abused as children (physical beating or sexual abuse) are more likely to suffer low self esteem as adults (6). They have learned that they are of little value in themselves or just an object to be used. They have been ‘brain washed’ by constant criticism or abuse that they are a certain way. When a person begins to question this former conditioning or brainwashing then a healthier and more accurate sense of self can begin to emerge. This happens in a similar way to how people may break away from the brainwashing of a cult. There are other forms of abuse and certainly a history of being heavily criticized or unfavorably compared to others can lead to low self esteem for example (“why can’t you be more like your brother!”).
Low self esteem may drive us to constantly and negatively compare ourselves to other people. As self esteem rises to a healthy level you’ll find that you do this much less.
To change your self image and improve low self esteem, you need to believe in an alternative opinion of yourself through the God experience! God is the creator of everything and we sincerely believe that god is the solution for everything!
God’s knows the real you
The Lord does not observe people merely outwardly, as humans tend to do; rather, “Jehovah looks on the heart” (1 Samuel 16:7). The Lord “knows the hearts of the children of men” (1 Kings 8:39).
If some of the world’s “beautiful people” were turned inside out, and revealed as God sees them, how grotesque they might appear.
What do you See in the Mirror
It is important, that one have a healthy view of oneself. Honesty demands that we concede that self-perception may be grossly inflated. That is why we are cautioned not to think more highly of ourselves than we ought (Romans 12:3). We must attempt not to be “high-minded” or “wise in [our] own conceits” (Romans 11:20; 12:16). Jesus said that we should love our neighbor as ourselves (Matthew 22:39). That implies a sound concept of self-esteem.
Sadly, however, many appear to harbor a very meager appreciation of themselves—so much so that it hinders their effective service to God, and torments their lives with much unhappiness.
We believe the Scriptures address this problem, and offer hope to those who are unnecessarily impoverished with self-esteem issues.
Let’s reflect upon the causes, the characteristics, and the cure for negative self-esteem.
Causes of Low Self-Esteem
Many people have personal esteem problems due to what they perceive as unattractive physical features. From their own viewpoint they may be too heavy, too thin, have a bad complexion, crooked teeth, etc. More likely than not, all of us have physical traits that we would like to alter if such were possible.
But the truth is, while physical characteristics may make an initial impression upon others, they are subordinated rapidly to personality qualities. Some, who are quite attractive physically, are so obnoxious in disposition that folks are loath to be around them. Others, who are a bit “plainer,” have tons of friends because intelligent people are attracted to their charm, wit, compassion, or overall spiritual depth.
Lack of Education
Some feel badly about themselves because of their limited formal education. But remember this:
- Some of the wisest and most prominent people of history were not privileged with an abundance of formal schooling. Abraham Lincoln spent less that one year in the classroom, yet he was recognized as a brilliant leader.
- Some of the stupidest folks of history have been laden with education. The expression “educated fool” did not arise in a vacuum.
- It is never too late to learn. Some have acquired college degrees in their sunset years.
- In the final analysis, a knowledge of God’s Word is the best depository of information that one can possess.
Low self-esteem may result from the tragic circumstances in one’s past. For example, a person may have been conceived out of wedlock, or as the result of rape, and so harbor a self-disgust.
Physical or Emotional Abuse
Abuse can ravage one’s self-esteem. Not infrequently a parent or spouse will berate a child or a companion persistently and viciously, so that the feeling of personal worth in the victim becomes almost numb.
An uncaring husband may tell his wife that she is ugly, fat, stupid, or lazy. A good “beating” with words can be as devastating as physical brutality. Some children’s psyches are damaged enormously by sexual abuse.
Constant, harsh criticism also can wound a youngster’s sense of personal pride. Victims of abuse must learn that they can get past these horrible experiences and find true happiness in living.
One of the most prominent causes of low self-esteem is an involvement in personal sin. Sin scars terribly. It is sometimes the case that one who loves God deeply, and who strives for spiritual maturity, will, in a moment of weakness, fall into some dreadful form of wickedness.
The crushing blow of such a transgression may have lasting effects that so debilitate the person that he has a very difficult time regaining a sense of Christian dignity, particularly if others have been privy to the transgression.
Characteristics of Low Self-Esteem
The attitudes that dwell within the mind frequently are reflected in the conduct of a person. An inspired writer affirmed that, as one “thinks within himself, so is he” (Proverbs 23:7). Jesus himself taught that the state of one’s mind is the fountain of his activity. “For from within, out of the heart of men, evil thoughts proceed” (Mark 7:21).
If an individual harbors an unhealthy view of himself, such can be manifested in a variety of distressing ways.
Drug abuse is one of the major problems of our nation, much of which stems from a self-perceived lack of worth and a void of purpose for human existence. Other forms of aberrant behavior also follow in the wake of unhealthy personal attitudes.
In many instances, children have been neglected feel quite worthless. Many are casualties of broken homes. Others suffer because their parents are materialistic and so busy working long hours, and at multiple jobs (in order to have more “things”), that they do not have the time to give their children the loving care they so desperately need and want.
Accordingly, many young folks, starving for affection, surrender themselves (without reservation) to anyone who is there to provide a warm hug and an understanding heart.
And the fact is, what is true for youngsters also is the case for many adults as well. A lack of personal esteem is a prime cause of sexual immorality. Sexual compromise itself then frequently produces additional humiliation. It thus becomes a vicious circle.
A Critical Spirit
A damaged self-view can result in a haughty or critical demeanor. There are two ways some people deal with their diminutive self-image. They may elevate themselves above others artificially. Or, they may attempt to cut down their associates. The net result is the same. The perpetrator ends up above his peers.
For instance, a lack of self-esteem sometimes is reflected in a person’s exaggeration of his accomplishments. A constant tendency to boast of one’s abilities—even to the point of lying about achievements—is a red-flag signal.
“Let another man praise you, and not your own mouth” (Proverbs 27:2).
Correspondingly, the tendency to work continually at tearing down others tells more about the character assassin than anything else. An emotionally-healthy person has no need to feed his ego at the expense of others.
A poor self-image sometimes manifests itself in materialism. Some folks feel that if they can surround themselves with an abundance of nice things, it will overcome the feeling of insecurity that seems ever to be with them.
We are not suggesting that hard-working people cannot enjoy a quality life as good stewards of the manifold blessings of God. What we are saying is this: the accumulation of material things will not provide the sense of genuine well-being for which each of us longs. Feeling good about oneself, and feeling good about possessions, are entirely different matters.
Take heed, and keep yourselves from all covetousness: for a man’s life consists not in the abundance of the things which he possesses (Luke 12:15).
Riches of the soul will provide you with a sense of excellence that no bank account, home, or automobile ever can or will!
Cure for Diminished Self-Esteem
In a world of secularism, biblical revelation presents two thrilling facts which, if embraced, can provide one with an exhilarating sense of individual excellence.
- Man possesses dignity by virtue of his divine generation.
- Though blemished by sin, man can regain his self-esteem through the process of spiritual regeneration. Let us probe these two points more deeply.
Who We Are
Man was made in the very image of God himself. On the sixth day of the creation week, God said:
Let us make man in our image and after our likeness . . . . And God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them (Genesis 1:26-27; cf. 9:6).
Woman, having been fashioned from man (Genesis 2:20-23), also reflects the glory of God indirectly (1 Corinthians 11:7).
Can we actually fathom the unique honor that the Creator has bestowed upon us by endowing us with certain qualities that are intrinsic to his nature? The very contemplation of such is enough to both humble and thrill us.
God’s Unspeakable Gift
A second fact that breathtakingly crowns human beings with a wonderful feeling of value is the fact that God bestowed his Son as a gracious, free gift, so that every accountable person has the potential for redemption. All that is necessary to achieve such is to surrender to the Lord’s will (Hebrews 5:8-9).
That mankind has strayed from the Creator, and become so flawed religiously and morally, is an indisputable fact. The wages of sin is death (Romans 6:23). There is, however, a way of escape (Hebrews 2:3-4).
Throughout the New Testament, there are repeated affirmations of the universal love of God for fallen man. God so loved the world that he gave his only Son in order to initiate a system of forgiveness (see John 3:16). The Lord would have all men to be saved by means of coming to a knowledge of the truth (1 Timothy 2:4). Romans 10:9
If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.
Hear the testimony of John the apostle:
Behold what manner of love the Father has bestowed upon us that we should be called the children of God; and such we are (1 John 3:1).
Do we really realize the value of this offer of a child-to-Father relationship with God, as a consequence of Christ’s mission!
Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us, and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins (1 John 4:10).
Our hearts truly go out to those who labor under the burden of a diminished self-image. we are not suggesting that the healing of such will be easy or immediate.
However, we confidently can offer the promise that the solution to such an impoverished disposition does lie with the pages of Holy Scripture. Pour over the Sacred Writings and imbibe the messages of joy and hope found therein. It can be a life-changing experience.